Sensual Massage

One option is to learn how to give and receive a sensual massage. Sensual massage can help you and your partner:

• express needs and desires
• find out how each likes to touch and be touched
• explore new ways to give pleasure
• improve your relationship.

An illustrated manual or book can be helpful. Here are some general tips:

• Determine who will be the first giver.
• Establish whether you and your partner will be clothed or unclothed.
• Choose a location where you both will be comfortable.
• Dim the lights and play soft music you both enjoy.
• Use plenty of pillows or a comforter.
• If you wish, use baby oils, scented oils, lotions, or powder.
• Tell the giver what feels good and what does not.

Begin with the face. Normally the giver sits and the receiver lies flat on his or her back with the head resting on the giver's thighs. With the hands well lubricated, the giver begins with the chin, then strokes the cheeks, forehead, and temples. Explore the face as if you were a blind person meeting your partner for the first time. Then explore the ear lobes, lips, and the nose before returning to massage the temples for complete relaxation. Rest, talk about the experience, and reverse roles.

Massage the rest of the body tenderly and pay attention to your partner's feelings. Then reverse roles.